While discussing Dr. Crafton's book chapter in class last Thursday (September 26th), I was surprised to hear how many that participated in the discussed felt about church.
In the section in Dr. Crafton's book title "Church as a socializing agent" when referencing her mother and sister, she states "I’m sure they would name “Christian” as a top identity in their lives and its literal meanings and teachings not open to negotiation; such is the nature of all fundamentalist religious views." I could completely relate to this myself.
When asked about my identity, "Christian" is at the top of my list (right behind female). Growing up, I never really had a choice whether to attend church or not. My grandmother is the pastor so it was mandatory every Sunday. I sang in the choir and participated in various other activities without any thought. For a small portion of my life, I even attended a Christian school. My parents never really gave me the option of not attending church and I didn't get to pick what school to attend, so I just assumed that this was the way I was supposed to live my life. Then as I entered high school, my views, thoughts and beliefs began to shift. I was in enrolled in public school for quite some time by then and I began to realize that there was a "life" outside of church and religion. I started working and participating in school activities which prevented my from attending church service every Sunday which eventually led to my departure from the church. I felt conflicted because I didn't want to offend my grandmother and the rest of my family by departing. It was also difficult because this was a part of my identity for so long; I began to feel lost. I wasn't sure if I could even still identify as a Christian until I entered college. I realized that though I don't attend church every Sunday, I still have the morals and values that I have learned through church instilled in me. When I was younger, what I was taught in church was "not open to negotiation." I was taught that 'it was, what it was and that's how things were supposed to be.' This is a huge factor in why my beliefs are so set in.
In our class discussion, many mentioned feelings of power imbalances within the church and beliefs that ideas are forced. I had a hard time relating this, possibly because my grandmother is a female pastor. I can't say that I saw power imbalances within my church but I did find that there were people that didn't attend her church simply because the church was led by a woman and other churches didn't want to be associated with our church for the same reason.
I want to further delve into the topic of power imbalances within the church. If church is supposed to be a place of worship, why would something as minuscule as an individual's gender play any role in that? Religion is a touchy topic, but I'm just curious to hear other opinions and perspectives.